What if you knew you already had the worst day of your life? You may not know this, but the police process death by suicide like a crime scene. I was sitting alone in the aftermath of my husband’s death last year with two strangers, the policeman and the chaplain. My sister was 6 hours away and calling in all my people to come and rescue me at her house. It was as if Erik and I had both just died in her garage and while he could not be resuscitated, Carolyn was hoping someone might get there and save me. 

Two friends were finally allowed in the front door after they basically kicked it down and said, “we are coming in here officer!” If you saw the friend I refer to as the Koala bear, you wouldn’t think she was capable of kicking the door down and yelling at the cops. She is a 5 foot tall yoga instructor. Tiny and mighty, she literally climbed up my body and wrapped herself around me in the tightest hug ever given to me (and hence her nickname, the Koala Bear.) She looked me right in the face, nose to nose, and said, “Allison this is the worst day of your life.” 

We go through our whole lives worried about a “worst day” scenario that could be just around the corner at any time. For me, it was someone kidnapping my children at the playground or a spider apocalypse. But to know now that I have already survived the worst day of my life? I am like an Olympic gold medalist in the “worst day” scenarios. I can walk around confidently with the shiny medal that tells the world I already hit the rock bottom of terrible things that could upend a life. So how could I possibly carry around anxiety about “what’s next?” 

I know the world feels a little uncertain right now. That may be the biggest understatement for some of us depending on where you are in your life. Some of us are caring for an aging parent or helping a loved one recover from something hard and unfair. Some of us work for government programs, which may feel like walking around with a jack-in-the-box toy in your backpack. Some of us may be dealing with internal uncertainty like, what’s next in my professional or personal life?

Reframing the doomsday narrative in your head may be the best anecdote for your uncertain jack-in-the-box days right now. Let the uncertainty or fear sharpen your focus on what matters most to you. Let it fill you with confidence to be the light in someone else’s darkness. I look at each day now as an opportunity to spread love.

I know that sounds a little Pollyanna for many of you feeling the darkness abound right now. But I am a “worst day is behind me” kind of gal. I have a sense of emotional freedom that I wish for all of you. In full transparency, I am not always shiny and bright! I am still learning this mindset and can easily fall down the “WTF rabbit hole” of current events. But I am really trying not to waste my light on things I cannot control. You can practice this mindset too. 

You can love your neighbor. You can speak to the sweet kid at the grocery store bagging your groceries and help him feel valued today. You can clean out your closet and share some of your goodies with your community. I listened to Dan Harris with his 10% Happier podcast recently. Dan suggested that even when there is nothing we can physically do for others who may be suffering, we can send them a prayer like, “May you find peace and your suffering be brief.” That is still DOING something! And for those of us who already had our worst days, it is the one thing we can certainly do…send love and light into this world of uncertainty.